Barbie Boutonniere

McKee: Barbie Boutonniere

June 2012

This needs no explanation just the set up: 

McKee’s wedding and Morris was the best man, best Barbied man. 

Rules of the Ool

Morris: Rules of the Ool

January 2012

You will notice there is no 'P' in our pool. And we'd like to keep it that way.

The McKees have a hot tub, which is often the focus of any gathering at the McKee household.

After they hit me with the calendar, which I now have to leave up for an entire year, I decided to get them back with something they would have to keep up forever.

I have an uncle who runs a sign shop. I had him make up a sign for me, with Barbie in a swimsuit, 'Rules of the Pool' in Barbie-style lettering, and with all the rules of the hot tub.

This sign now hang proudly by the hot tub, for all to see. For all time.

Barbie Calendar

McKee: Barbie Calendar 

December 2011

The McKee’s strike back starting with a fake out by giving the Morris children Barbies as Christmas presents.

  Then launch a 12 month long daily reminder that McKee’s Rule and Morris’ Drool.

The Barbie calendar presents beautiful Barbie dolls modeling stylish fashions from the Barbie Robert Best Fashion Model Collection, showcasing his elegant haute couture designs. For any  girl of any age, this Barbie collection is a dream-come-true!

Jaquiline D'Light

Morris: Jaquiline D'Light
November 2011

We have this mutual friend who ties balloon animals. Let's call her 'W'. One time at a pig roast the McKees hosted, W made a six foot tall pig in honor of the event. We burned it in effigy. I recruited her help for my next attack.

Some time previously there was a flood in the McKee's basement area, which destroyed, among other things, all of their Yule decorations. W, out of the kindness in her heart, went out and bought a bunch of decorations and then asked for my help sneaking over to put them up while the McKees were at work. I have lots of experience on ladders, and she believes feet belong firmly on the ground.

I had my youngest daughter with me at the time, and as soon as I was up a ladder, she promptly rang the doorbell. We didn't worry too much, as both McKees should have been at work.

I was wrong.

Mrs McKee had taken the day off for some mental well being, and answered the door in her PJs. She caught us in the act of putting up the lights. And W's project was right there in the front seat of her truck.

We managed to get Mrs McKee back inside again, and finished our decorating. When we were done, I brought her out front to ooh and ah at the lights, while W sneaked our new friend Jaquiline D'Light in through the back door and into the bathoom.

A few hours later she found she not only had new holiday decorations, but she had been Barbied!

Jaquiline, by the way, is an anatomically correct blow up doll, who was dressed in a balloon Barbie dress, complete with panties and bra. She has hosted several of our wild parties, though her current whereabouts are unknown.

Barbie Bumper Stickers

McKee: 

September 2011

It was a cold autumn evening in a car going to Mitchel’s and Jenny’s birthday party when we took a turn to Chris and Jenn’s house to plant our Barbie.

Barbie Cereal

Morris: Barbie Cereal

June 2011

Back in the 80s there existed briefly a Barbie Cereal. I managed to track down an image someone had scanned in of an unfolded box. I then took that image and had it printed up on some card stock, folded it back into the original box shape, filled it with some random pink cereal, and of course a prize at the bottom(yup, you guessed it, one of the original cheap Chinese Barbies). I then sneaked into the McKee house while Mrs McKee was at a summer festival running a henna booth, and hid the box on top of their fridge where they keep their cereal. I imagined Lil Dude McKee staggering out one morning, pulling out a chair, climbing up and reaching for breakfast, only to find he had been Barbied.

What happened was even better. The McKees had some company over, and were heading out to the hot tub. Mrs McKee was looking about for her pink pitcher to make some sort of lovely adult beverage, and the pink on top of the fridge caught her eye. She grabbed it, and found a box of Barbie Cereal in her hand.

She screamed.

In rushed Mr McKee to see what was wrong, and found her screaming and pointing at the box. His first thought was 'oh look cereal! I think I'll have some...' then it hit him. It was Barbie Cereal. They then had to explain the entire epic battle to their dinner guests.

Barbie-Q

McKee: BBQ or Barbie-Q

May 2010

Liz and I with the help of James fashioned 2 Barbie cakes named Thelma and Louise for the continuing “BARBIE WARS!”. Keeping with tradition style we used 2 of the original cheap Chinese dolls, the entire process took nearly 5 hours to complete. First we had to amputate Barbie's legs off from the knees to fix into her dress then I cut out a small hole in the top of the cake and inserted her body into it. She stood up pretty well on her own just to make sure we filled the hole in with icing. Liz refused to let Thelma and Louise in any way be inappropriate regarding there “Ta Ta’s” so she started piping on Barbie's top first with a small star tip and then we both took turns piping her dress. I'm not a great cake decorator by any stretch of the imagination but with Liz mad house cake decorating skills she learned from her mother we made some pretty amazing cakes, now on to the pranking…

Glowing Barbie Heads

Morris: Glowing Barbie Heads

March 2011

Did you know you can buy a bag of fifty Barbie heads online? Yup, just the heads. Kind of creepy. So, the McKees had recently paid me to build a couple of fences for them, and while I was not willing to strike while on the payroll, I still wanted to target those pretty new fences. I mean, they had just attacked the garden I was so proud of, I had to hit them where it hurt.

I purchased a string of solar powered LED garden lights, and siliconed one Barbie head onto each of the lights. While the McKees were on a bike rally, I sneaked in and installed the lights and solar cell onto the new fence. They returned after dark, to be greeted by a string of fifty glowing Barbie heads.

(Note: that was almost two years ago, and those heads are still glowing every night)

Barbie Bricks!

Mckee: Barbie Bricks!

August 2010

Here are what I like to call Barbie Bricks, We use two 80 pound bags of ceMent and incased the Barbie’s in different positions. With the idea we burry the bricks to only where it just looks like I stuck dolls into the ground and you can easily pull them up, when you make the attempt you can’t because well there in 5 inches of concrete underground. The original plan was to dig holes in his pebble path and have them creepily emerging from his walkway but when I got there I realized his path had weed protector under the rocks that I could not dig through, quick thinking I was going to hide them around the yard, but the dog already ate one Barbie I did not want them to find and eat more so it HAD to be in the garden… well while I’m here lets dig the garden up. So here is the show case of “Barbie Bricks”

Blair Witch Barbie

Morris: Blair Witch Barbie

2010

Took 12 dolls and hung them from the McKee’s precious back-yard Juniper trees by their ankles. A dozen naked, upside down Barbie’s. It was like Naked Barbie Blair Witch Project.

The Box, The Beer and The Barbie's

The Morris’s and the McKee’s are deep in the middle of a Barbie War. It began when a friend brought a case of 24 naked Barbie’s to a party. To this day, I do not know why maybe liquor or just plain good old shenanigans , Mr. Morris thought it would be amusing to hide them about the McKee’s house. The McKee’s were finding Barbie’s for weeks. They were not amused, and attempted to reciprocate, by hiding some of the offending dolls at  Mr. Morris house. This progressed into the “one up” competitive war we have today.