Jaquiline D'Light

Morris: Jaquiline D'Light
November 2011

We have this mutual friend who ties balloon animals. Let's call her 'W'. One time at a pig roast the McKees hosted, W made a six foot tall pig in honor of the event. We burned it in effigy. I recruited her help for my next attack.

Some time previously there was a flood in the McKee's basement area, which destroyed, among other things, all of their Yule decorations. W, out of the kindness in her heart, went out and bought a bunch of decorations and then asked for my help sneaking over to put them up while the McKees were at work. I have lots of experience on ladders, and she believes feet belong firmly on the ground.

I had my youngest daughter with me at the time, and as soon as I was up a ladder, she promptly rang the doorbell. We didn't worry too much, as both McKees should have been at work.

I was wrong.

Mrs McKee had taken the day off for some mental well being, and answered the door in her PJs. She caught us in the act of putting up the lights. And W's project was right there in the front seat of her truck.

We managed to get Mrs McKee back inside again, and finished our decorating. When we were done, I brought her out front to ooh and ah at the lights, while W sneaked our new friend Jaquiline D'Light in through the back door and into the bathoom.

A few hours later she found she not only had new holiday decorations, but she had been Barbied!

Jaquiline, by the way, is an anatomically correct blow up doll, who was dressed in a balloon Barbie dress, complete with panties and bra. She has hosted several of our wild parties, though her current whereabouts are unknown.